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Got off the phone with my mom a few mins ago. They found out yesterday that dad's surgery will be later this month. I think she said the 19th. Not sure. I and(from what my mother told me) the rest of the family are very disappointed that he needs to wait so long, given the extreme severity of his condition. The surgery sounds awful. They are going to enter the side of his chest, open up the rib cage and cut out parts of his esophagus and stomach. The surgery will be around five hours long. The estimated recovery time is two months. I feel bad for anyone that needs a hard treatment or to go under the knife; but especially when the procedures are very risky, long and complex with lengthy, painful recoveries, if they ever even fully recover.

My mom and I talked about a few other things. Mostly how I've been doing.

Then my dad got on the phone. I wished him luck. He said, "Well, we've all gotta go sometime." That seemed in contrast to his usual and still recent(according to my mom) upbeat optimism. I replied, "Yeah; but I think you still have more time." I added that I'd visit him before the surgery and during his recovery. He said thanks before he handed the phone back to mom.

I've always thought that when my dad dies, I won't have hardly anything to miss; instead feeling sad about how our personal lives were always very distant. When I was growing up, he would only express his dislike for something I was doing by sudden outbursts of yelling at me. Soon I shut him out as much as I could. That and my brothers' same temperaments were the reasons I refused to help on the farm, except for very rare occasions. I was an extremely sensitive child and didn't want to deal with that treatment.

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