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Ritual vs Chaos

Reading in an occult book of what sounds similar to something I've encountered. I'm torn between faking sincerity and trying the rituals to supposedly make it safer and risking wasting my time. Or I could say fuck this shit and do it all my way. I fuck with my mind. My existence is a sick joke anyway. If something comes and wants to kill me, have fun; or better yet do something interesting for a change.

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