I don’t like the social media site, at all; with its ads, trolls, bots, fair weather friends, and the disorganized ever changing format. So I’m going back to old school, introverted journaling. Give me real life, where I can look shit people in the eyes, and hopefully have a chance to smash their faces in. Maybe I’m completely cynical, but I don’t like it. That’s just been my experience. Give me the truth. I don’t need to be some smiling, positive thinking prick, to get through this hell life! I just keep bracing myself for the next round of bad news, here in The United Hates Of AmeriKKKa!
Maybe I’ll just take care of myself and my husband. I’m definitely taking a break from politics.
Good to be back. The new format seems awkward.
As far as average "not doing what I want, but doing the best I can find and get paid for" kind of jobs go. This one seems okay. Definitely a big step up from my last one; where even though I had insurance, they were making it difficult to get time off to use. Unloading trucks, stacking boxes and pulling skids works far better for me work wise. Almost ideal in those respects. A couple guys are on the jerky side. I get compliments from others. One said a lot of people are going to management to tell them how great I am. I'm starting to adjust to the new schedule. I'm catching up around the house. Then I will be back to doing what I want.
A little being off by being up this late. A good bit unwinding drinking wine and being completely excited for probably never having ever felt so good. A lot of looking forward to calling this morning to quit my shit job. "At Will Employment" goes both ways motherfuckers! Then there is just enjoying life right now!
I doubt I believe in anything. Is that because I question everything? I'm not tethered to my opinions either. It's better this way. I'm fully capable of thinking as I go. Am I deprogrammed yet? Goals.
I'm getting better. I have at least a good few big ills I'm finally getting help with. Don't expect me go without a fight.
I've been thinking a lot about being in touch with my "dark" side. Tear people's heads off. Run out spreading chaos, screaming into primal oblivion. Which is "good", troublesome, and complicated.
I visited the sweet spots I had time for and know of in Columbus Ohio after my appointment. Between buying LPs by Morton Subotnick, Pink Floyd, Half Japanese, and Sunn O))); I decided people shouldn't support musicians, noisicians and the like. They shouldn't unless they truly love the art and it's released on a format that is good enough for them. That said, I'm occasionally guilty of neglecting checking up on whether or not it was only an analog recording. But they often don't say. Assholes. Back to the point I was getting to: in my experience, most people are total shit bags and don't care the slightest about you. Don't worry about supporting them.
The past week I went to the doc. I'm going back Monday. The thyroid test finally shows there is a problem. So we're gonna see about fixing it and hopefully I'll stop being exhausted all the time chugging caffeine while trying everything else to feel better. But my problems are not your problems. How are you supposed to understand my problems? Sounds like a personal problem. I'm probably just lazy and a rotten individual.
Fuuuck. Finally got my music equipment hooked up for hi-fi album playing and making my music. Should be a consolidated version of my previous two projects into one, which will be great if I can just hook this up and leave it alone. I've been busy but I'll get creative again. Now if only I can do it better and more often. I knew the move here would set me back but I also changed things up and the usual ADD and probable thyroid pains in the ass. Gotta find new doctors online before getting back to it.