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Spent Christmas Eve at zjon's family at their place. Was a nice time. Drank spiked eggnog.

Did nothing on Christmas. Went to Outland on for New Years with Elizabeth. I got loaded at her place before we left. I was shooting for androgynous, but just got female pronouns. Maybe if I tone down the makeup. Who cares? I got stopped by this girl I'd been talking with, and told that was the men's room I was about ready to walk into. I said, "I know." Was told by another woman, "Yr such a pretty girl. Are you looking to date a guy or a girl?" "Either", I say. Then she got all excited and went, "OOoooOOOOoooooOOOO!!!!" Was funny. I hated not having someone to kiss on New Years. Cus zjon doesn't like clubbin, and was having another gathering. Had some bullshit with our driver getting kicked out for being stupid, by pissing in the men's bathroom sink. He was sneaky and got back in.

Last weekend I drank too much and got sick at Outland. Then I drove home drunk. I'd better watch myself, and not do that again. Woke up with a hangover, wondering why my ass was hurting. Seconds later, thinking "Oh yeah. Spanked at Outland."

We've been working off and on, in this freak ass warm Ohio weather. We'd better get some more work in. We need it big time. Barely scraping by. Amanda keep freaking out.

I ran out of anti-depressants well over a week ago. I didn't go back for more. They weren't helping at all. They may have even been making things worse. Was tired and in a haze waaaaay too much. Was sleeping too much. Was at a minimum of twelve hours a day for long while. I'm doing better at not sleeping in. Yesterday I started taking Lamictal. I hope it works good.

Things have gotta get better. I just need to make it through this winter, get a better job, get a new guitar, begin to prepare for college and move into the city. Doesn't totally have to be in that order.

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August 2017
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